An Ode to Peace

Near yet so distant
Polluted yet so full of life
I too have dreams of fairy tales
Waking up amongst your grace
Basking in your aura
Believing in your power
The days grow older as the nights digress
The blinds to all of your windows are open
Vulnerability becomes the mission of the devil
The pavements become warm preparing for your journey
The bushes and trees begin to move requesting your dance
The heart becomes wise, but not fond.
Wise but not fond because contentment equals opposition
There is no longer a such phrase "seek and you shall receive"
From now on theres right from wrong, ethics versus morals, and live and be blessed.
Happiness will come as you clear the clouds away.
God becomes available and his presence is attainable
The best friend you never knew you had has arrived
Your past is but a glimpse of experiments of experience.
Silence will no longer be fearful and noise will not harm you.
Relationships will come, they will grow, and they may go.
the unneessary will remove themselves
The necessities will be bountiful.
As the extras will find a place for themselves.
What stress brought the breeze will blow away
You will find that love does not exist in your heart
Your wants and needs ae the only things your heart desires.
People will try to distract you, blindfold you, and take you away
Everything that shines, glitters, and glistens is not gold.
Always stand up for something or you may fall for anything.
Continue to grow stronger, your largest competitor is yourself.
Everyone and everything is not for you, let God handle your hardships, you just take care of the basics.

You calling me a weirdo?!

Symbolism

When your wants become unreachable
When the yearning becomes unbearable
What will be attainable?
Like hype lyrics over a slow beat
Your words and actions refuse to meet.
Like the comforting feel of warmth in your blood from love flowing through your veins and pumping into your heart/Like staring deep into a puddle at the beauty of the forseeable reflection/Like walking through the wind tunnel of adversity, but your focus is on the other end of positivity.
You are my control. My factor that is stable and permeable.
I trust in you so much that I dont trust you.
Everyday I wake up feeling optimistic, when there is so much potential how could you not want the ultimate?
I admire you in yourself, at your best, you ignite me.
Affliction occurs when comfortability begins.
But uncertainty is like a drug, pulling energy in times of confusion.
Responsibility is the fear, like the cause for a fleeing babydaddy.
Demand is what we continuously turn away from, like our rebellious teenage years
Time is the Oz, ruler of our everyday, minute, second, hour....clockwork?
What makes us different is that unlike you, I run towards my opponent.
Unlike you, I am my only opponent. In the end there is only me. In the end the only person I talk to is myself, the only person I listen to is myself, the only person who can defeat me is myself. Its been said before, but I mean it. What would make me want to listen to you? When you have your own issues you believe in and cant control? What makes you different from the rest? How will you triumph in quicksand?
If whispering was equal to an "indoor voice" you would be the SHOUT in my life.
Friends come few and far between. You may at most have five. All the others are seasonal. There with you when things are great and all the other times they are talking about you. Family too. Im like the dog herding up the sheep. Just different. There to push you and pull you, aggravate you and cheer you up. I am the devil...'s.....advocate.
I am the love of your life, the one you can depend on, the shoulder you need to cry on, I am the #clutch. Who are you?
I care about you, I care for your well-being, I want you to be happy and I wish you all the success you desire.
Im going to always do what I want. Whether I know Im wrong or not, whether I know it would hurt you or not. Karma will catch me, she always does.

These are the makings....

Breaking over Winter....

Here are some pics from trips to New York and Miami over christmas break.I had a great time with some of my favorite girls. I love the life I live. Go big or go home mmmmmmuuuudddddaaaaaassssssssuuuuuu......... ;-)

Immortal Love.

I wish all guys could write beautiful words as such....for the Love of my life will surely be able too...I havent received a letter yet

Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us - I can live only wholly with you or not at all - Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits - Yes, unhappily it must be so - You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never - Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves. And yet my life in V is now a wretched life - Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men - At my age I need a steady, quiet life - can that be so in our connection? My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes every day - therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the letter at once - Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together - Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.

ever thine
ever mine
ever ours

-Beethoven

Basically There are NO Basics...

With time comes strength

Deeper, harder, and stronger

Demand multiplies as supply decreases

Hearts grow fonder and Life becomes an instructor

Guiding and teaching you on your wants and needs

Tough times dont last but tough people do

"Its a shame we've become so accustomed to losing

we dont realize when we've won"

Happy New Year!!!!

I ended 2009 BANGIN'

And Im starting off 2010 the right way

I spent some quality quiet time with myself

GREAT!

Ima happy camper thats ready to take the world by storm

Hint, hint = IM READY

It aint for everybody.

Aight so, lately I've just truly been stressing about EVERYTHING. Like I've truly hated thinking for like the past two weeks. Terrible! But anyway, needless to say I am still here living, breathing, and getting things done so I just wanna share my secret of how I make it through.

1) Prayer. I dont care where I am, when I need to talk to God, when I need to talk to someone who will listen and wont just give me their opinion I turn to him. And Im not saying that's the only time I talk to God, we communicate about EVERYTHING. Its great, it really is.

2) Motivation. You have to know yourself and knows what gets you going. During crunch time you dont have forever to get yourself together. I use quotes, or sayings to get my mentality back straight. It may sound wack but whatever it works for me, and until reading this you wouldnt have ever known. Here's a few that Ive made up or gotten from other places.

- A mans past is a mans past. A woman can be a mans future only if understands his past.Three steps ahead, two steps behind.

- ...Assertiveness is the key to success(.) I live it, you dream it♥

- Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication...

- I'd rather die enormous than live dormant...

- If only thoughts provoked honesty && responded with discipline...maybe just maybe...u'd see...

- Why waste your time dreaming about colors when we all have light and dark inside of us?!
- "I would unite with anybody to do right and with nobody to do wrong"

- We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is still the same.

- What lies before us and what lies behind us are small matters compared to what lies within us! ♥

- Just because it looks good doesnt mean its good.

- Its good to be thought of as a person and not a personality ~MJ

- Stop thinking with your eyes and follow your heart!....real talk the results are beneficial

- What you fight, you ignite!....PS: You're beautiful, now leave me alone!

- First time experiences include never ending emotions ♥

- silence speaks louder than words && actions! I prefer Gibberish....but "if you got it, flaunt it, boy...."

- Is feeling like this is the era of indecisiveness. Get it together.... your best effort is never enough!

- Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in changing others.... "I Need You" ~A.Keys

- Life is hard, but not impossible.

- Trial && Error doesnt work forever! Gotta set your standards && wait for them to be met. Goodlife mentality.

- Someone once said "If you want something badly, set it free. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. But if it doesnt, then it was never yours to begin with"- Indecent Proposal....A life without risk is like no life at all~♥

Be YOU. Love YOU. See YOU. Being GREAT. Living GREAT. Doing GREAT.

P.S. October 28th I need everyone in theatres to see Michael's "This is it"....and Im so serious =]

No matter the issue.

So I just read something really sad.....

.....its got me thinking about a somewhat similar situation I was in.

.....its crazy how we dont recognize our blessings when they are right in front of us.

I get really frustrated with myself at times when life is hectic and Im not in control. Like now, Ive been living a crazy lifestyle for awhile now. Always on the go, making moves, not having anytime for me an most importantly others. At 19, I feel 39....theres been so much that I have experienced and I really just need a time out. I think Im mentally unhealthy from all the drama and stress Ive endured and whats worse is its starting to affect my physical strength. Every day is a struggle. Ive always had this go-getter mentality and maybe its time for me to chill and relax. Its turned me into such a tense person. True city girl indeed, but this is beginning to be a bit much for me. I do alot of complaining....

......But the truth is no one cares about your individual issues. There is always someone who is in a much worse situation, and as I sit here typing away on my laptop, in my apartment, dressed in comfortable warm clothes, laying in crisp white sheets I realize that I have nothing to complain about. My life has been way worse than it is now. Ive endured much harder and more strenuous challenges than the ones I currently face. So why does it feel like this is the worst its ever been? Ive been trying to look forward towards the future and staying positive for "Time will heal everything", and the clock is constantly ticking.

Cry! OMG! Ive cried once this year already. Like a couple of weeks ago. Dont ask me why lol, but yes I was experiencing alot of stress and was so frustrated I didnt know what to do with myself. I had lost control and I felt like I had truly lost myself. You have to stay true to you, no matter what the challenge may be. If you arent doing you, what feels natural then you'll be dying inside. And I was dying inside.

But seriously, life is full of opportunities and I mean either you take them head on or you wait for the right opportunity for you. You may want something so bad that isnt for you. Remember that God will not block his blessings. Give and you shall receive. Stay humble. Never allow your success to be your downfall. And whenever you're in doubt, pray about it.

Smile, stress, and then smile again. Blink twice, straighten your eyebrows, scratch your head, fix your hair. Look at yourself in the mirror and smile one more time. Now get back to work.

Love always, xoxoxo

~Elle