Breaking over Winter....

Here are some pics from trips to New York and Miami over christmas break.I had a great time with some of my favorite girls. I love the life I live. Go big or go home mmmmmmuuuudddddaaaaaassssssssuuuuuu......... ;-)

Immortal Love.

I wish all guys could write beautiful words as such....for the Love of my life will surely be able too...I havent received a letter yet

Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us - I can live only wholly with you or not at all - Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits - Yes, unhappily it must be so - You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never - Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves. And yet my life in V is now a wretched life - Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men - At my age I need a steady, quiet life - can that be so in our connection? My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes every day - therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the letter at once - Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together - Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.

ever thine
ever mine
ever ours

-Beethoven

Basically There are NO Basics...

With time comes strength

Deeper, harder, and stronger

Demand multiplies as supply decreases

Hearts grow fonder and Life becomes an instructor

Guiding and teaching you on your wants and needs

Tough times dont last but tough people do

"Its a shame we've become so accustomed to losing

we dont realize when we've won"

Happy New Year!!!!

I ended 2009 BANGIN'

And Im starting off 2010 the right way

I spent some quality quiet time with myself

GREAT!

Ima happy camper thats ready to take the world by storm

Hint, hint = IM READY

It aint for everybody.

Aight so, lately I've just truly been stressing about EVERYTHING. Like I've truly hated thinking for like the past two weeks. Terrible! But anyway, needless to say I am still here living, breathing, and getting things done so I just wanna share my secret of how I make it through.

1) Prayer. I dont care where I am, when I need to talk to God, when I need to talk to someone who will listen and wont just give me their opinion I turn to him. And Im not saying that's the only time I talk to God, we communicate about EVERYTHING. Its great, it really is.

2) Motivation. You have to know yourself and knows what gets you going. During crunch time you dont have forever to get yourself together. I use quotes, or sayings to get my mentality back straight. It may sound wack but whatever it works for me, and until reading this you wouldnt have ever known. Here's a few that Ive made up or gotten from other places.

- A mans past is a mans past. A woman can be a mans future only if understands his past.Three steps ahead, two steps behind.

- ...Assertiveness is the key to success(.) I live it, you dream it♥

- Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication...

- I'd rather die enormous than live dormant...

- If only thoughts provoked honesty && responded with discipline...maybe just maybe...u'd see...

- Why waste your time dreaming about colors when we all have light and dark inside of us?!
- "I would unite with anybody to do right and with nobody to do wrong"

- We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is still the same.

- What lies before us and what lies behind us are small matters compared to what lies within us! ♥

- Just because it looks good doesnt mean its good.

- Its good to be thought of as a person and not a personality ~MJ

- Stop thinking with your eyes and follow your heart!....real talk the results are beneficial

- What you fight, you ignite!....PS: You're beautiful, now leave me alone!

- First time experiences include never ending emotions ♥

- silence speaks louder than words && actions! I prefer Gibberish....but "if you got it, flaunt it, boy...."

- Is feeling like this is the era of indecisiveness. Get it together.... your best effort is never enough!

- Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in changing others.... "I Need You" ~A.Keys

- Life is hard, but not impossible.

- Trial && Error doesnt work forever! Gotta set your standards && wait for them to be met. Goodlife mentality.

- Someone once said "If you want something badly, set it free. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. But if it doesnt, then it was never yours to begin with"- Indecent Proposal....A life without risk is like no life at all~♥

Be YOU. Love YOU. See YOU. Being GREAT. Living GREAT. Doing GREAT.

P.S. October 28th I need everyone in theatres to see Michael's "This is it"....and Im so serious =]

No matter the issue.

So I just read something really sad.....

.....its got me thinking about a somewhat similar situation I was in.

.....its crazy how we dont recognize our blessings when they are right in front of us.

I get really frustrated with myself at times when life is hectic and Im not in control. Like now, Ive been living a crazy lifestyle for awhile now. Always on the go, making moves, not having anytime for me an most importantly others. At 19, I feel 39....theres been so much that I have experienced and I really just need a time out. I think Im mentally unhealthy from all the drama and stress Ive endured and whats worse is its starting to affect my physical strength. Every day is a struggle. Ive always had this go-getter mentality and maybe its time for me to chill and relax. Its turned me into such a tense person. True city girl indeed, but this is beginning to be a bit much for me. I do alot of complaining....

......But the truth is no one cares about your individual issues. There is always someone who is in a much worse situation, and as I sit here typing away on my laptop, in my apartment, dressed in comfortable warm clothes, laying in crisp white sheets I realize that I have nothing to complain about. My life has been way worse than it is now. Ive endured much harder and more strenuous challenges than the ones I currently face. So why does it feel like this is the worst its ever been? Ive been trying to look forward towards the future and staying positive for "Time will heal everything", and the clock is constantly ticking.

Cry! OMG! Ive cried once this year already. Like a couple of weeks ago. Dont ask me why lol, but yes I was experiencing alot of stress and was so frustrated I didnt know what to do with myself. I had lost control and I felt like I had truly lost myself. You have to stay true to you, no matter what the challenge may be. If you arent doing you, what feels natural then you'll be dying inside. And I was dying inside.

But seriously, life is full of opportunities and I mean either you take them head on or you wait for the right opportunity for you. You may want something so bad that isnt for you. Remember that God will not block his blessings. Give and you shall receive. Stay humble. Never allow your success to be your downfall. And whenever you're in doubt, pray about it.

Smile, stress, and then smile again. Blink twice, straighten your eyebrows, scratch your head, fix your hair. Look at yourself in the mirror and smile one more time. Now get back to work.

Love always, xoxoxo

~Elle

This Morning I Woke Up....

Without will power my mind is jaded by your essence
Without strength I cannot fight your presence
For without you I am merely a lonesome soul
Searching amongst darkness for light to unfold
Is it the “I”, “you”, or “we” to blame?
The failure of loves struggle in a triangular game
Was it the “I” who drove you both insane?
The “you” full of devotion in which my weakness came?
Or the “we” I hope to still attain?
Why is it that with so many closed curtains and red doors
I continue to love for more, for the worst always seemed to
Cut our forward journey short, if it wasn’t you it was me, jump ship and abort
Love never intended on this seesaw or merry-go-round
My visions aren’t god’s visions so I’ve found
But in you I felt the connection to be profound
You built me up and then tore me down
I woke up today and decided to wear a new face
For you my love will never, can never be replaced
And with you my heart I have made many mistakes
Over and over I’ve relied on fate, to save us from a never ending break
Worrying, wondering, whining, and crying have gone
I had demoted my SHE from a queen to a pawn
But in this game the King is only allotted one block to move
While I the queen have the whole board to choose
So today I woke up and decided to go journey to a new place

CheckMate!!!!

Ba Ba Black Sheep....

There are always questions running through my head constantly! Most are what if questions, or inquiries concerning my future.

- Congratulatons Jasmine Alexis! Miss Black USA's Talented Teen! I love you!

Im honestly beginning to feel stronger. Its like when I am confined to my self and thoughts I am strong, but when Im out in the midst of the world I become vulnerable. But dont take this the wrong way, by no means am I saying Ima weak chic. Just sometimes we experience things in life that bring you down.

- Always listen to yourself and your gut instinct, Im serious, your gut can save you from pain and sorrow.

- I really dig saving peoples lives! Like I love it, its empowering. I would go into law enforcement but I can not stand police officers and I would never wanna deal with a gun.

Anyone trynna go to a gun range though?! I wanna learn how to shoot one and I think it would be fun. That sounds weird but it looks interesting on tv.

Ooohhh and I almost got arrested with my bestfriends on friday! Wow! For trespassing! Crazy! We didnt know. I mean we knew but we truly didnt know, nah mean?!

- Aye! Ive been studying for my motorcycle permit! Im so psyched, Ima ace it.

Speaking of motorcycles, I feel so bad for these chics who left the club saturday in skirts, heels, and tanktops on the back of a motorcycle and it was raining outside. How stupid can you be?! I prayed for them instantly but thats just sad. People have to learn how to make better decisions.

- BTW i went to LOVE saturday. Havent been ina month. I felt weird and was reassured of why I stopped. Its so much tension, animosity, and fake in the club! I hate it. No one can decipher the two so they get drunk to live in the atmosphere without a care. Lame! I mean I go and have fun with my friends and we genuinely enjoy ourselves without looking straight dumb! And the hatred from other females is truly unbearable! Either I have made too many enemies living in DC or chics just be on it! So ridiculous. Ima very nice person but I hate when people judge me without knowing who I am or because I appear to be living a happy lifestyle. Im over it, just stop.

-I finally saw this weeks episode of Tiny and Toya that I missed! I love her! Follow her on twitter www.twitter.com/antoniacarter and then you can follow me www.twitter.com/elle202 ....

- Where is my mom?! Its 1 am!

- OMG! does anyone remember "OZ" that was my show! (Its on now)

- Have you ever thought about spending your life with someone and then like yall go yall seperate ways, suddenly, and totally unexpected?! That has to be the worst pain ever besides losing a loved one to death!

- I knew if I said she wasnt home sh e would come walking through the door! Its "1:05 am, where have you been?!"

I have written something good in a long time. I always think about writing at the wrong moments when I dont have a pen and paper and my mind should be focused on something else. Other than that I just jot down my random thoughts hoping that I can look back at them and see my randomness turn to reality.

- Sometimes when Im down and out I invision my soulmate. Ima nurturing type of gal and I love sharing my life with loved ones. And since my girls are the closest thing to love in my life at the moment I can just invision him, invision happiness. Its crazy how lifes "360's" turn out. At first I was angry with Gods decision but now I can tell it was for my own good. Both times. I just hope that when its my time there will still be some good ones left. Im not open right now, Im not trynna be in love with anyone new. I dont have time for that. The next person I love will find me to love me and be with me unconditionally. I thought I had it.....

.......HAVE YOU ANY MORE?!