"I want to love you...."

I will never forget the conversation I had with my mother about going to Neverland Ranch to live with Michael. I was eleven years old and suffering the result of my parents divorcing and I really leaned on to Michael Jackson at this age. I remember thinking that the world sees him as a weird person and they are destroying him and I was experiencing alot of neglect and drama at home and school so I thought it would be perfect if we could be together and maybe I could make him feel better, we could be friends.

For me what is so beautiful is that Michael Jackson not only touched lives during the time he was alive but from now on until forever his legacy will remain. He has made such a difference to the music industry that society is forever indebted to his craft. His music can relate to all eras and genres. When we are grandparents our grandchildren will still be listening to Michael Jacksons music. I remember the first choreographed video i learned was Michael Jacksons "rock with you". During the video he just freestyles, and I learned his freestyle smh! I feel so blessed to have lived enough years to see him as a artist. I feel bad for the people in this world that disowned him, by bad mouthing him and making accusations that they shouldnt have. He was such a beautiful person and I hope that this teaches people that you cannot judge a book by its cover. Just because his physical appearance changed doesnt mean that his inner changed. Dont be fake, if you love someone, then love them unconditionally because you never know if you will see them again or be able to tell them you love them.

My stomach is growling....

........ And even if I were to eat enough equivalent to gluttony I would still suffer a feeling of emptiness. I have an addiction and its ruining my life I think. Everyday I try so hard to shake my habit and then I end up falling short either when I first wake up or before I lay my head down to sleep. I have asked God to help me or like give me a sign that I need to just quit because its not worth it anymore. Ima fein straight up. It sucks because I know what needs to happen but I lack the will power and strength to press on away from it. About a week ago I was doing really good. My mind actually was distancing itself from the addiction but then, at my most vulnerable hour, my addiction found me this time && swept me away. What to do?! What to do?! I love itt. Like ALOT! More than my peers will ever understand. Its like another world for just me and my addiction. One cloud that we own just for us on the inside so that the outsiders just see cloudiness. There is so much fog between me and seeing the light! What kills me is that I know its only a temporary fix for my pain because eventually it wears off and Im back to stressing. This has become more serious than I ever imagined. Ive changed so much since beginning my addiction...for the good and for the bad. I just want to be happy and pure again. What happened to my innocence?!

The Month of May.

The clock continues to tick as we procrastinate on our future.
The seasons continue to change as we remain in one state of being.
Time is of the essence and every decision made determines the essence of your time.
What you may think is impossible to recover from is merely false predictions.
It is never too late in life to do better and be better than your sins.
Redemption is accepted and when things dont go your way, simply make them.
"Money, Power, Respect is whatchu need i life"
add Guidance, Faith, and Honesty and you will really be living correct.
Protect the nouns that mean the world to you, for what goes around comes around.
To gain respect you must give respect, nothing in life comes free.
Do not treat others as if they are expendable. Every human being has a purpose.
Everyone that comes into your life is beneficial in some way, even if they are no longer there.
Never take a beautiful surprise for granted, after all surprises are good, right?!
And even when the image ahead seems unclear, hold on until you reach clarity.
Be thankful for every morning you see and every night during which you dream.
And dream, continue to expand on your future and reach for the stars.
And reach, reach until your arms are sore and muscle strain plus fatigue takes over.
Love hard, but love smart. Dont believe that your love is the same as your partners.
Staying intrigued will carry you farther in a relationship than love will.
You know you are in love when "he" takes over your everyday life and thoughts.
Or is that really the stage of being intrigued?! Gotcha. Hate to say I told you so lol.
More or less, when you love someone more than you love yourself, the less longevity of a future for you too seems to be possible.
And if you claim to love someone, then act like you love someone.
True love conquers all battles and defeats demons.

MAY you always trust in God and believe that he will never put you through anything you cant handle. MAY you love yourself unconditionally for you were made this way for a purpose. MAY you strive for success and in the state of comfortability make yourself uncomfortable to push further. MAY you remember that your past effects your now that will effect your future.

Love Always <3

"When I get right I promise"......

Life is full of unexpected blessings && beautiful surprises. I guess Santa was alittle early/late with my xmas gift last year.

Every moment spent with you makes me feel like its my first encounter with the male species. Im intrigued and it shows. ^

"I'll stab a day"...no I wont, but your fiestiness keeps my temper on deck and although it causes problems for us at times it also reassures me that you got my back so in return you never have to worry.

Your spontaneuity keeps me youthful and your singing keeps me laughing. Yet I can be just as random all the same..."Show me your smile with all your teeth" lol

Every Kiss makes me feel like it was my first[.]


I cant help but thank you for being the "who" you are. The who that keeps me wanting more from life, the who that taught me to never settle for less, the who that is constantly weining me from my horrible habits, and the who that challenges me and believes in my flaws because you love me. I cant help but give you all of my love in depth, no strings attached, raw and uncut. Appreciation derived from admiration and motivation set aside from frustration. Yet my emotions are set for you farther than human reach. And as each day continues to cause growth between us I am encouraged to be a better person, a better friend, a better lover, to think more in depth of my actions, a better student, a better businesswoman, and how to believe because remaining hopeful doesnt get you where you need to be in life. No matter what I am thankful!


....."AYE WE GON' LIVE IT UP!"

The Time That it Takes....

....to realize your mistakes, he'll be gone.

They say its better to have loved and lost, than to not have loved at all.
I beg to differ. Love doesnt exist. Everyday of your life you are not going to wake up with the thought of how much you love your significant other. Instead I feel as though you should search for someone who will keep you intrigued everyday of your life. Love comes and goes. Like comes and goes. Lust comes and goes. And people, come and go. Being intrigued will stay with you far more than love will. Its true. For in my experience love has fallen to the act of being intrigued. And infact, to this day the person who kept me intrigued has my undivided attention opposed to the person that I am in love with. Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction. I like to think of you as being the focal point of my perspection. Well atleast you were. [lol, sarcasm]. But nonetheless, even with your narcissistic ways and "hard love" mentality I adore you. So farewell to the intimacy and moments of love for I now become an admirer. Quite the demotion, but this was a call for self-unemployment. I shall embrace every inch of knowledge that was taught and remember every moment that was precious. I still want to believe that it isnt over. But truthfully thats just my heart speaking. Not my mind, nor you......

20 random things of my life recently!

...Aight so yall know that I am extremely crazy and extraterrestrial so heres just some things that make my life even more out of this world.

1) Dear God...We know...Amen.
2) How are you gonna ask me out to dinner and then say hold up let me check my accounts first?!
3) Why is it that everyone that doesnt go to Hampton thinks its a party school, but the people that do go here feel otherwise?!
4) Why do the people from the DMV try to be everything at Hampton and then go back home and dont do anything?!
5) Why do people think they can wear party attire to LOVE?!
6) Why do we go through like three different outfits in a day at Hampton because of the weather?!
7) Why is my father texting me about my little sister butt rash?!
8) Why is my Grandmother texting me period?!
9) The epidemic of people older than 40 being on facebook is sickening.
10) Its not cool to have a twitter if you dont use it...sorry! lol.
11) Internet love is scary. And meeting people over facebook is even worse.
12) I hate it when I dont like someone but yet we have everything in common =[
13) How you gonna get mad at me for something you brought upon yourself?!
14) Why is it that lust always prevails over love?!...in college[that is]
15) Scratch and sniff nail polish?! lol
16) I refuse to believe the people that are celebrities on twitter are the real celebrities.
17) Thinks self-worth should be a class for young females because Houston we have a problem[s].
18) Cant wait to actually find a place to live next year, job this summer, and a flyyyy car.
19) As I get older holidays become even more unimportant, Easter was dead.
20) I live on a natural high, so if I seem slow, trust, it aint me...lol.

Love Me. Like Me. or Leave Me.

Im not asking you to stay.

The world is yours!

Or is it mine?!

To Love?!

Lust?!

?!

!

.

Mr. Big!

....Ever thine, Ever mine, Ever ours....

You. Remind me of my childhood, my today, and my future. But you cant be. You were but now isnt the time. Frustration builds around the sight of an empire fallen which took so long to build. You never learned to appreciate me and its obvious that you still havent. Not so say that you never have or will but you're inconsistent and that my dear is unacceptable. As we grow it is important to realize the truth and know and accept us for what we were. Time tells and heals everything. What is meant to be will be. The law that we live by. But if our futures paths never cross again, know that love will forever ly here for you. My bestfriend. My homie. The last kiss felt like this......

.....You ready B?!....

You. Remind me of my racing heartbeat searching for love and happiness. You complete my findings, but timing is everything and we messed that up. Take it slow they say. And we move faster. Was it the love or the rush behind it?! My unofficial official. I gave you that title and lowkey you still have it, but you dont want it. Gamed me for amusement but when s%$# hit the fan you was out, straight bounced and left me to pick up the pieces. And for some reason im still here with you while you galavant everywhere else. Respect, you grown, you're free to be you and do you, I just thought we were more than that. Your past is still your future, and your present is only temporary. Cant be that one....but in the event you have an epiphany just send me a text that says......

.....Lets go get em'....